When everything goes well (does it ever?), it is easy to feel good, even smug about being right, smart, and on top of things. Claiming to be in the flow, without necessarily having achieved it. Just like Hollywood movies about the future that tend to be overly dark in depicting the worst possible scenarios still find a way to achieve a positive outcome, it is when you find an obstacle on your road that you can choose how to face it, and find your personal solutions.
The simplest way to represent these obstacles, things that go wrong, is to say that they are either a consequence of what you did or didn’t do, or a consequence of what others did or didn’t do. And in each of these cases it would have been better otherwise. What is a common, and natural reaction is to feel negatively about them: remorse, regret, rancor and reproach (funnily each starting with an ‘r’).
Unavoidably almost universally these feelings contribute nothing or even are themselves an obstacle towards more constructive developments, and while they can be recognized as a natural initial reaction, the best course of action is that of letting them go.
The flow achieved in these more complex circumstances, where challenges are seen as a natural component of our lives, is robust, and confident, resilient, and dynamic.
PS: we recently legally wound down WideTag, Inc., which has been a wonderful ride, and gave us experiences and opportunities beyond our original expectations.
I really like the four “R” above, even if I’m working as a personal mental training to avoid any “negative” connotation. And the wish of going with the flow, it’s just wonderful. 🙂
(just: aren’t Remorse and Regret swapped?)
> aren’t Remorse and Regret swapped?
Each of these is somewhat arbitrary, and subjective. In the way I use those words they are like this: “I regret not having done x. I did y, and now I am remorseful.” etc.
> I’m working as a personal mental training to avoid any “negative” connotation
You are certainly familiar with the practice of mindfulness. I am reading Chade-Meng Tan’s “Search Inside Yourself” and it is a lot of fun. If you have not seen it yet, you can take a look at his Google talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8fcqrNO7so